


Je Vis en Espoir

by sirbartonslady



Series: Innocent Sorrow [4]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-14
Updated: 2012-05-14
Packaged: 2017-11-05 08:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirbartonslady/pseuds/sirbartonslady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the run from the Earl and Noah, Allen suffers a near-fatal injury, forcing Lavi to try to care for him without medical supplies. With Noah closing in and no relief in sight, Lavi prepares to lay down his life in Allen's defense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Je Vis en Espoir

**Author's Note:**

> This story is over four years old; it was originally published on March 26, 2008. As such, it is very, very far from current with the manga storyline. I consider this story and the others in its series to be slightly AU from the actual canon due to how canon deviated after the story was written. However, this series of stories is one of my favorites of anything I've written, so I'm willing to bring it over here.
> 
> The series was originally written deliberately to be a series of one-shots. That is why the first four stories are not chaptered; please do not tell me to just turn them into one multi-chaptered fic. I decided long ago that I would not do that, and I have no intentions of doing so now.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any part of "D. Gray-man" or its characters. It all belongs to the brilliant Katsura Hoshino-sensei. I'm just playing in the sandbox of this beautiful and complex world.

How the hell did things turn out this way?

Lavi bit down on the edge of the discarded shirt he held, tearing ribbons from it. "Hang in there, Allen. Don't pass out on me. Stay with me, stay with me." He knotted the strips of fabric and threaded the result through what remained of Allen's coat. It was like trying to sew spaghetti together. "Aside from the obvious, how are you feeling? Talk to me, Allen."

"I'm okay, Lavi, don't worry so much about me." Allen's voice was soft, almost inaudible. His breaths were shallow and labored. "I just need to rest a little bit, and then we need to keep moving."

Given Allen's current state, Lavi was inclined to rather vehemently disagree. The white-haired young Exorcist was prostrate on the ground, weakly holding his right side, while blood seeped steadily into the soil beneath him. His complexion was so pale that he was almost transparent. Lavi could not remember ever seeing Allen in such a condition.

Lavi had never been so grateful for all the first aid training that the old panda, Bookman, had forced him to learn. And yet, at the same time, it was of little comfort, since he had no first-aid kit, and had to use his own sweat-soaked and dirt-caked clothing to bind this hideous, gaping wound. Still, first things first -- he had to stop the blood-loss, and restore some level of equilibrium to Allen's system.

"How's your breathing? Are you getting enough oxygen? Breathing okay?"

"My chest feels heavy, but otherwise I'm fine. Honest."

"No, you most definitely are _not_ 'fine,' Allen. You've lost way too much blood already. You're at risk for hypovolemic shock."

"My Innocence will take care of it, Lavi. Just get us out of here."

"I can't do that," Lavi retorted. "Your blood pressure has dropped. If I try to move you, this wound will open up all over the place. I don't dare move you any further than here."

Allen's eyelids were heavy and he seemed to be having trouble staying conscious. Lavi leaned over him, attempting to assess his current state. His examination yielded results that were less than favorable.

_Dammit! This is_ bad _!_ _His pulse is weakening, his heartbeat sounds strained, his eyes are dilated, and his complexion is looking worse by the minute._

_Shit, he's going into shock._

Lavi clenched his hands in the loam, abstractly noting that some of it was getting under his fingernails. _Calm down, Lavi. Panicking won't help. You sent Timcanpy on ahead; he knows how grave the situation is, and he knows who to bring back. If we're lucky, he'll return with someone soon. You just need to stabilize Allen so that he'll still be alive when help arrives. You can do that much, can't you? Of course you can!_

Easier said than done, though.

Allen's eyes fluttered open, having closed momentarily. "Lavi... what happened to you?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not the one losing litres of blood to the forest floor, you know! How the hell did you leave yourself wide open like that?"

"I was protecting you, you know. I'm the one who can take a hit from an Akuma and not get poisoned."

"And in exchange, here you are, practically cut in half horizontally, on the verge of dying on me! I'm not going to thank you, damn your eyes!"

"I just need a little rest, Lavi. This wound isn't so bad."

"Isn't so bad?! You've lost god-knows-how-much blood; you're going into shock! Dammit, Allen, I'm not ready to lose you yet!"

To his utter discomfiture, Lavi realized he had tears streaming down his cheeks. He wiped them away as quickly as he could, but they replaced themselves immediately, and in greater quantity. As Allen's eyes closed tiredly, Lavi grasped his shoulders.

"Hang in there, Allen. Don't die on me!" When he didn't get a response from Allen, his panic hit another notch. "Allen! I'm begging you, don't die! I'll do anything, I swear, _just don't leave me alone_!"

"Careful, Lavi," Allen murmured. "That kind of thinking is what killed Suman Dark. Be careful what you promise; if you betray your Innocence, I don't know that I've got the strength to save you from it." His eyes opened slowly and he reached his right hand up, cupping it to Lavi's cheek. "I don't want that to happen to you. What Suman suffered, no one should have to go through. Least of all the one person I love more than anything else. I can't believe you're crying for me, Lavi."

"Idiot!" Lavi burst out. "You have no idea how bad of shape you're in!"

"If I could move, I'd go find a stream," Allen said distantly, as if he hadn't even heard Lavi. He lowered his hand and brought it to his throat. "I'm parched. My throat feels kind of swollen. But I'm so tired I can barely move..." He now sounded like he was underwater. His voice was garbled.

Lavi panicked. Things were going from bad to worse, to worse still. His own beloved, the one person more dear to him than life itself, was slowly expiring before his very eyes and he couldn't do a damned thing about it!

"It's getting kind of hard to breathe," Allen murmured almost dreamily. "Can you loosen my collar for me, Lavi?" He was totally unaware of the fact that neither he nor Lavi had shirts on -- both shirts had been cannibalized for makeshift bandages. The soft leather of Allen's black uniform coat was in ribbons as it was from the attack.

_FUCK!_ Lavi clenched his hands in his hair. _I think I'm going to have to give him mouth-to-mouth, if he has much trouble breathing. The problem is, mouth-to-mouth is for restarting a failed respiratory system, not for sustaining a laboring one. Goddamn, what the hell am I going to do?_

Allen's eyes fluttered open and then closed, and then his muscles relaxed and he went limp. Lavi's panic hit another level and he frantically felt Allen's jugular for a pulse. It was there, but it was thready and arrhythmic at best.

The bleeding had been stopped, for the most part, though with Allen now in hypovolemic shock, any serious movement at all would likely cause a fatal drop in blood pressure. It appeared that things were out of Lavi's hands entirely.

In a moment of extreme weakness, galvanized by a lack of sleep and intense worry concentrated over a short period of time, Lavi wallowed briefly in self-pity and grief. Burying his face in his hands, he indulged himself in some gut-wracking sobs, the likes of which he hadn't felt in time without memory. His mind was taken over by vague images of pain and abandonment. Any words of sorrow, denial, agony or pleading died in his larynx, unable to pass the lump in the back of his throat. He could only think to himself, in the small part of his mind that wasn't overcome by his emotions, that he was tired of being abandoned. He was tired of being left behind. There would be no fiftieth alias, unless that alias was that of Bookman (which was no real alias at all). He couldn't bear to go through this one more time.

There was a gentle touch to his arm, startling him out of his wallowing misery; Allen was trying to grasp one of his hands.

"Lavi," the younger Exorcist said almost inaudibly, "stop crying. I'm not going to die. I can't die now, not while the Earl's still wreaking havoc."

"To hell with the Earl!" Lavi said savagely. "You can't leave _me_! I won't forgive you if you leave me alone too!"

Allen was already fading from consciousness, and Lavi's panic spiked.

"So this is where you've been hiding, Lavi!" A familiar voice, so welcome that it was like a clarion of hope, cut through the cloud of his misery. The intensity of his relief at the arrival of backup overrode his natural apprehension.

"Oh, god, Lenalee, I thought..." He started to stand up and greet his fellow Exorcist, when something niggling in the back of his mind gave him pause. True, she looked exactly like Lenalee Lee, but there was something quite amiss about this. In his frantic, panic-induced haze, he couldn't put a finger on it, but his senses all screamed at him to be wary.

"Where's Gramps?"

"He stayed behind. He couldn't leave."

_That's not right._

"Where's Timcanpy?"

"Also stayed behind."

_This isn't Lenalee. She's not moving -- she can clearly see Allen from where she is, and she's not concerned? That's not Lenalee at all! And there's no way Gramps would stay behind, knowing that I need him this much. Not even to take care of Kro-chan. Gramps is far more interested in Allen Walker than in Arystar Krory. And Timcanpy -- all the flames of hell couldn't keep him from returning to Allen's side!_

_And why would they send Lenalee? She can't even invoke!_

_For fuck's sake, Lavi, get your goddamn head on straight! This has to be that Noah, the one that can transform. Lulubell._

He was on his feet without a second thought, his weapon in his hands. "Lulubell, right?"

"What?"

"You're not Lenalee. You must be the Noah who can transform."

To her credit, Lulubell dropped the act adroitly. "You're good, Bookman Junior."

"My name is Lavi; you don't have the right to call me anything else. I'd advise you to turn right around and leave. I'm in a bad mood and I'm fixing to pound someone into dust."

"Well, by all means, pound me into dust. That is, of course, assuming you _can_." The Noah's hand transformed into a whip and she hurled it at Lavi, who just barely dodged it, managing to parry the blow with his hammer, so that the whip didn't strike Allen.

Lavi was exhausted, physically, mentally, psychologically and emotionally. And he was not in the mood for this bullshit. He unlocked the second level of his Innocence and used the Heaven seal. " **Heaven Circle! Sky-Whirling Lightning! Heaven Seal!** "

"Careful, you don't want to hurt him, do you?" Lulubell said without the slightest expression.

"Just get the fuck out of my face, you sleazy Noah, I'm really not in the mood for this! **Fire Circle! Heaven Circle! Combination Seal! Great Heavenly Thunder!** "

"You're using these high-level attacks in a tight space," Lulubell said, with just the slightest hint of incredulousness in her voice. "You really must be at your wits' end."

The strain of two days worth of fleeing through countryside, trying to avoid Akuma and Noah alike, aiming blindly for the France-Italy border, was beginning to take its toll on Lavi. And the emotional strain of watching Allen slowly dying by inches was haranguing what little stamina he had left.

_Innocence... I'm begging you. I need something that will drive her away, at least for a little bit. It can't end here!_

There was a moment where time seemed to grind to a halt; a breezy voice seemed to sigh into his ear. And just like that, the Wind Seal unlocked. After a moment's pondering, Lavi decoded the Seal's judgment and threw the proverbial lasso around it, harnessing its energy and turning it against the Noah.

" **Wind Circle! Simultaneous Raging Gales! Wind Seal!** "

The Wind Seal proved to be extremely potent and very wild; once released from its bonds of locking, the ensuing cyclone that emerged started to tear the forest apart around its center, leaving a small area at its center untouched. As long as he held himself very still, the spiraling windstorm itself didn't touch him or Allen, since they were in the eye of this hurricane. The gales battered at Lulubell relentlessly, and though the wind itself didn't seem to affect her at all, the debris kicked up and tossed around by the sheer force was apparently starting to concern her. She retreated, but not very far; she moved to a point that appeared to be just beyond the maximum range of the attack. Lavi would have to advance on her to bring the range closer to her again, and he didn't dare move away from Allen.

This presented a problem. As long as he kept the Wind Seal active, she couldn't get near, but the moment the Seal collapsed, she would likely be able to rush in and attack. Based on her stance, that was her exact plan, and it was a shrewd plan.

Unlike the Heaven and Fire Seals, which each only required a single burst of energy to get started, the Wind Seal was putting a huge strain on his stamina, requiring an astounding amount of energy to maintain. There was no way he could keep this going indefinitely; he'd be lucky if he got more than five more minutes out of this. His hands were starting to burn from the kickback from his Innocence. This attack was above a level two unlock, and his synchronization rate with his Innocence wasn't high enough to maintain this without a lot of effort.

For the briefest of moments, and for the first time in his life, Lavi considered giving up. It would be so easy to just let go of the handle of the hammer and let the Seal dissipate, to let the Noah kill him and end this whole desperate dance. He was weary and heartsick. If Allen was going to die, he wasn't sure he wanted to go on; this was the first time he'd ever felt this strongly towards anyone.

The thought had no more than completed its way through his head before he completely threw it away. Absolutely not. There was no way he could ever give up. That was essentially a betrayal of his Innocence, for one thing; and for another, it was tantamount to treason of his beloved. Allen's motto had always been to keep walking until the day he could walk no further. Giving up was not an option for Allen; it couldn't be an option for Lavi, not if he wanted to face Allen again -- either in this life or in the afterlife. At the very least, he had to hold off this Noah until help arrived. No matter the cost.

Still... easier said than done. The Wind Seal was weakening. It looked like he had no choice but to cancel that invocation, and rely on his hand-to-hand combat skills to keep Lulubell at bay.

With some effort, he canceled the Wind Seal, and swung the hammer up to a ready position, prepared to use it as a close-range weapon. For her part, Lulubell didn't attack right away; she eased in slowly, measuring her distance and assessing Lavi's movements. This was not what he'd planned, and he silently cursed himself for forgetting her cat-like nature.

There was a brief scintillation that he spied out of the corner of his eye; turning his head briefly to keep Lulubell in range, he looked over, and saw a beacon of hope -- it was Timcanpy! The tiny golden golem was flying as fast as its little wings could carry it toward him.

In that instant, hope blossomed in his heart. If Tim was here, that meant that someone was close behind.

The golem dove in and banked sharply, swirling around Lavi. Its arrival gave Lulubell pause; the Noah looked around warily. Her eyes had only just returned to Lavi, narrowed and clearly demanding an explanation, when suddenly, she was wrapped by the body of a battle-whip.

" **Lao Jimin, activate.** " A clear voice spoke precisely, and there was a rush of sound as General Klaud Nine's anti-Akuma weapon, a parasitic creature named Lao Jimin, transformed.

Lavi blinked in astonishment. A general? General Klaud, no less? Could it be...?

"Oi, Lavi, you idiot, stop staring!"

"Lavi!"

"Brat! Stay vigilant!"

Kanda Yuu, Catherine Desseseaux and the Bookman all appeared out of nowhere, startling Lavi half-way to oblivion.

Kanda took up a stance in front of Lavi, while Catherine and Bookman went straight to Allen. Catherine was schooled in nursing practices, and Bookman had extensive knowledge of various kinds of medical treatment.

Timcanpy seemed to sense that it wasn't wise to touch Allen without a healing touch, so it settled for landing in Lavi's hair and nestling in. It wasn't much, but the gesture was somewhat comforting. Allen's familiar (well, Lavi had always seen Tim as Allen's familiar, even if that wasn't what the thing actually was) accepting him was comforting in a time of stress.

The extent of his relief was borne out when his knees buckled. His energy had long since been used up, and only sheer determination had kept him on his feet. Now that reinforcements had arrived, his legs gave out on him.

_I'm saved. We're saved. Thank you, God. I owe you for this._

The thought came a tad early, however, because Lulubell managed to break free of General Klaud's restraints and sidestepped Lao Jimin; the parasitic Innocence creature spun out of control when it didn't hit its target and Lavi and Kanda just barely got out of its way.

"Yuu! Stay by Allen and protect Gramps!" Lavi barked at Kanda. "I'll take care of this Noah."

"The hell you will!"

" _JUST DO IT!_ " Lavi bellowed. "Now isn't the time for heroics, dammit!"

_What the hell am I doing?_ He thought to himself as he lurched to his feet and threw himself at Lulubell. The only thing he knew for certain was that he had to get that Noah away from Allen. Catherine's Aqua Vitae activation left her vulnerable while invoked, and Bookman was... well, he was nearly as dear to Lavi as Allen, and Lavi wasn't about to let him get hurt either.

_Innocence... I know I've already asked a lot of you, but this time, I'm willing to do anything. I'll even give my life up if you demand it. Just please, help me. I have to stop this Noah. Either kill her or make her retreat. Please, Innocence, I'm begging you, one more time, lend me your strength._

He felt rather than heard the Wind Seal rebel against the possibility of combining with the other Seals. The other Seals seemed willing to work for him (though the Wood Seal seemed amused, since there was little it could do for offense or defense. It was a nature-controlling Seal, not a fighting or shielding one.) but the Wind Seal, newly freed, didn't want to work with anyone. It was an unwilling partner in the Drowning Maelstrom Combination Seal; now that it was freed, it wanted nothing to do with any other Seal.

Lavi vaguely and distantly heard General Klaud hollering at him to get away from the Noah, but he didn't listen. _Please, Innocence. Just one more time. After that, you can take me to Hell if you want. I just want to protect everyone. Just this once, let me win the fight and save everyone. You chose me as your conformer -- please, grant me the power to do your will._

Lulubell grappled with him, trying to wrest the weapon from his hands.

There was a moment of unbearable silence, before a windy sigh danced through Lavi's mind. _Just this once._

" **Innocence! Maximum Invocation!** "

The hammer-head of the weapon glowed bright with its Innocence and transformed itself into a slimmer, sharper hammer-head. The seals spinning through the air became iridescent and sparkling, and they whirled at twice the normal speed. Lavi closed his eyes as he heard the seals all -- even the unopened ones, the ones he'd not even knocked on the door of, to see what they were, before even attempting to unlock them -- start to combine. This was beyond reckless, using Seals he hadn't even tried to unlock -- using unknown Seals was bordering on suicidal -- but it was his only option left.

_Allen... if you survive this... I hope you'll understand why I've always wanted to be beside you, not behind you. Old man... I don't think I can be your successor after all. I did the one thing I shouldn't have. If I don't survive this, I hope everyone will forgive me for it. I can only pray that this is enough to drive this cat-bitch away for good._

" **COMPLETE CIRCLE! GLOBAL CATASTROPHE! _ALL SEALS_!** " As he crashed through the seal, he felt his entire body engulfed in flames. Maximum Invocation at such low synchronization was a suicidal risk. He could only hope that this final strike would also take out Lulubell, one way or another.

_It looks like my Innocence will take my life in exchange for this. Allen... I love you... and I'm sorry._

As the world around him went up in flames fanned by the raging winds and fed by heavenly fury, Lavi sank into a burning darkness punctuated by the screams of the Noah and his friends alike.

* * *

_I can't breathe... I've got to get out of this water, before I drown!_

_Lavi! Where did you go? Why do I feel a heaviness in my heart where you should be? Lavi! Answer me!_

Allen Walker surfaced from a deep, black, watery emptiness with a start and a gasp.

"Oh! You're awake, Allen?" Reever Wenhamm's steadying voice was the first thing he heard. "Thank goodness. The supervisor will be thrilled to hear it."

Allen blinked his eyes in confusion. Where on earth was he? Rolling his head to the side, he saw that next to the bed where he lay stood an iron hospital stand with a trio of IV-drip bags hanging from it.

"Easy, Allen," Reever said soothingly. "I'm sure you're pretty disoriented. I'll get Chief Komui."

"So you made it, Allen Walker." The gravel voice of the elderly Bookman was the next thing he heard. "You are a very lucky young man. I honestly did not think you were going to live. That wound should have been fatal; a lesser person would have died almost instantly from exsanguination."

"What?" Allen just barely got his mouth to work.

"You very nearly bled to death. You lost anywhere from a quarter to thirty percent of your blood. You shouldn't still be alive."

Images flashed through Allen's mind. The Ark's internal structure erupting as the Earl forced his way through with an army of Akuma. The emergency shut off of the Ark's transfer protocol. Exiting the Ark somewhere between Nice and Turino. Blindly heading east, aiming for Turino. The army of Akuma, spearheaded by a contingent of sturdy Level Threes. Lavi...

"Lavi!" His lungs spasmed as he uttered the name. "Where's Lavi?"

"I would advise you not to worry about him right now. There's nothing you can do for him."

Nothing to be done for him? Was Bookman saying... was he saying Lavi was dead?

Practical logic being beyond him at the moment, what with his haze of pain and disorientation, Allen couldn't interpret Bookman's words any other way. Grief welled up in his heart.

_Dammit, Allen, I'm not ready to lose you yet! ... Hang in there, Allen. Don't die on me! ... Allen! I'm begging you, don't die! I'll do anything, I swear,_ just don't leave me alone! _... To hell with the Earl! You can't leave_ me _! I won't forgive you if you leave me alone too!_

The words spun through Allen's head, and he brought a hand to his face, weakly trying to prevent the tears from coming. Once again, Death had taken away the person most precious to him. He had allowed himself to love and treasure a living human, and in return, Death had stolen that one away again.

"Allen!" A pair of voices jolted him out of his brooding, and he opened his eyes to see the Lee siblings -- Lenalee, the Exorcist, and her older brother Komui, the Chief Supervisor of the Black Order -- both leaning over him.

"Thank god, Allen!" Lenalee said tearfully. "I'm so glad you're going to be okay!"

"You really are a miracle, Allen," Komui said incredulously. "It looks like your Innocence saved you again."

There came a voice from beyond a curtain in the room. "Hey, Komui, don't go writing off the medical procedures! His Innocence was useless until we got his blood levels back up!" Allen rolled his head to the side to look, and saw the face of Catherine Desseseaux, the newest Exorcist and one whose Innocence apparently had healing properties to some degree. She was peeking around a curtain that had been drawn up in the room. She smiled when Allen looked at her. "I'm glad you're okay, Allen. That was a close call. You were in shock when we got to you. I wasn't sure you'd make it. But it appears that your wounds were responsive to my Innocence -- once we got you here and stabilized, my healing waters seemed to accelerate your body's healing. Pity I can't say the same for this moron here." She pointed to the curtain, indicating whoever was behind it.

"How's he doing, Catherine?" Lenalee inquired.

"Same as always. His burns are healing slowly, but he hasn't regained consciousness."

"Well, his injuries were caused by misusing his Innocence," Komui said. "It's not a surprise that he's not responding to your Innocence."

"Young idiot," Bookman grumbled. "Maybe now he'll learn."

Allen refused to allow his heart to hope, but he couldn't help but wonder who they were talking about. Silence descended on the room as Catherine returned to her ministrations behind the curtain and the Bookman continued his treatments on Allen. For the moment, Allen's grief seemed to be suspended behind a wall of dissociation. Almost like it hadn't sunk in yet...

Still, his heart ached. He missed Lavi already. He had no idea what he was going to do when he had enough strength to get up and face reality.

"Catherine," Komui said finally. "I think you should draw back the curtain and let Allen see who is behind it. I think he may have some misunderstandings."

"Sure, okay," the young woman said brightly and gathered up the sliding curtain, pulling it back to the wall and revealing the hospital bed behind it. The patient thereupon had a shock of red hair. Allen had admired and caressed that hair too much in recent weeks to not recognize it on sight.

"Lavi...?" The name escaped Allen's throat. Tears pooled in his eyes.

"He's been unconscious since we got to him," Catherine said. "After he fought off that Noah, he collapsed and hasn't woken up since. But he's not in any danger at this time."

"When I said there is nothing you can do for him," Bookman said, "I meant it quite literally: there is nothing that _you_ can do for him. He is healing slowly. He brought it on himself by using a Maximum Invocation with too low of a synchronization rate. His Innocence backfired on him."

Allen tried to digest that. His mind was still torn between relief and confusion. "He's... going to be... okay?"

"Most likely, yes. His Innocence is punishing him, but it has not abandoned him. I don't think his life is in any danger, though he may be out of commission for a while." The old man looked up. "Supervisor, I'm sure you have other duties to attend to. I've got a handle on this."

"Er," Komui said uncertainly. "Right, okay."

Allen closed his eyes and forced himself to absorb the knowledge that both he and Lavi were alive. They'd survived. That was all that mattered right now.

"You are certainly an unusual person, Allen Walker," the old bookman said. "That boy never used to be so brash and spontaneous. He had his moments, but never like this. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was trying to destroy himself along with that Noah."

"He kept begging me not to leave him alone," Allen murmured. "I remember that now. I didn't think I was in that bad of shape. I was tired, I was thirsty, and I was sore, but I didn't think I was that badly injured. But he just kept crying and begging me not to die, not to leave him all alone."

"Hmm. How tired are you right now? Do you have the energy to stay awake for a little while?"

"I think so... why?"

"I'm going to tell you a little story. I wasn't going to say this to you for a while yet, but it seems appropriate."

There was a long silence as Bookman situated himself. "There once was a boy. His father abandoned him when he was three, and his mother abandoned him when he turned five. The little boy was left in the care of the clan of bookmen by his mother, who disappeared without a trace.

"The boy, whose name was never recorded, was devastated and cried himself to sleep for two weeks straight, before he finally resigned himself to his fate. He quickly showed himself to be a very, very intelligent boy, and very intuitive. The head of the clan chose to take him under his tutelage and teach him, to see if he had what it takes to become, ultimately, _the_ Bookman.The boy showed promise immediately, proving to have an absolutely photographic memory, and an acute attention to detail. Seeing something once was all the boy needed to memorize it. He was precocious and began taking on personae at the age of eight.

"The process of adopting and abandoning personae is not easy for anyone; this boy took it even harder than most. For him, it seemed, the persona he took on became like a friend or brother to him, and leaving it behind cut him deeply. He did not merely act when he took on a persona -- he _became_ that persona.His fear of abandonment made the transition between personae very difficult for him. Eventually he toughened up, and he gained much acclaim amongst the bookmen for his stoicism and his ability to take on elaborate persona, to portray personalities so vastly different from his own. Even when he lost the use of his right eye, he still seemed destined to become the youngest Bookman.

"Some years after he began his quest of personae, he was chosen by a piece of Innocence carried at the time by General Kevin Yeegar, who had come to speak with the current Bookman about an alliance between the clan and the Black Order. There were predictions from their oldest Exorcist, Hevlaska, that pointed toward a so-called 'Destroyer of Time' -- though no one knew at the time who that would be.

"The boy -- now essentially a young man -- acquired his forty-ninth alias and persona. His Innocence was forged into a weapon that takes the shape of a hammer and commands forces of nature. His new persona was that of an energetic young man, embodying the personality of the star sign Leo, and he was named accordingly: he was named Lavi, Hebrew for 'lion.'

"However, about this time, something seemed to change. The boy who called himself Lavi now started to _become_ Lavi, more so than any other persona. It is possible that the Innocence is responsible for this. And it may have been an unusual boy that he met. In any case, once he became Lavi, he did the one thing no bookman must ever do. It is something that is, while not exactly forbidden, detrimental to bookmen."

There was a pause. Allen looked at the old man, whose eyes softened.

"You're wondering what he could have done, right? Well, it's simple. What he did was... he fell in love."

Allen blinked uncomprehendingly.

"Romance, lust, affections, tender feelings, friendship... these are all dangerous territories that bookmen must tread when they take on personae. There is nothing wrong with playing with them, feeling their caresses and their stings. But love is another matter. Love is a powerful force, far more than a feeling. Love clouds the objective mind. It is also an identification and an identity. The bookman who begins to love someone loses that which makes him a bookman: he loses his anonymity. The boy who came to be known as Lavi, who was the pride of the clan, lost everything he had been aiming to be for the past ten years. But I'd be willing to bet that if you asked him, he'd tell you he regrets none of it."

Another silent pause.

"The reason I told you all this is because I want you to realize what he's given up prior to this, and what he's forfeiting by staying with you. Also, perhaps this will explain to you why he fell apart when he thought you were going to die. Abandonment is his worst fear.

"I had a suspicion for some time that he was becoming attached to you. When you all returned from the Ark, I noticed he was acting strangely. I cornered him one evening and demanded the truth from him. He told me, in a roundabout way, about his developing feelings for you. I didn't realize you felt the same way about him, of course, but it did explain a lot about his behaviors." Bookman glanced over at where Lavi was. "I'm still hesitant to give up on him; he's a fine historian. But if he can't break his feelings for you, he'll never be a Bookman. It looks like I'll have no choice but to look for another successor."

"I'm sorry, Bookman. I didn't mean to take your successor away from you. I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Of course you didn't. I'm not blaming you. Love doesn't happen on cue."

Allen's eyes were becoming heavy; Bookman noticed this and patted his hand; "Rest well, Allen. It is far more important that you regain your strength. Lavi will be fine. As I said, he's being punished by his Innocence, but it hasn't abandoned him. When it judges him to have suffered enough, it will forgive him."

"I do love him, Bookman," Allen murmured. "If you're wondering, I adore him. I'll make sure he doesn't regret anything. I'll do whatever I have to in order to make sure he's happy."

"You're starting to come apart at the psychological seams, Allen," Catherine said gently, startling Allen by her proximity. "Here, drink this, and then get some sleep. You'll heal that much faster."

Allen blindly drank what she gave him, noting abstractly that it was cold on his tongue but felt warm going down his throat. It had no taste, but it wasn't water either. But he didn't really have time to contemplate it before the call of sleep became too great, and he sank into its dark embrace.

* * *

When Allen surfaced again, he felt more like himself. His body didn't ache like it had, and he could breathe easily. He felt energetic and he was in a good mood. He'd just spent who knew how long walking in a dream world beside Mana, talking. Mana had praised him for his advancement through the Black Order, for fighting the Earl with everything he had. He hadn't answered any of Allen's questions regarding the Ark or the Score that controlled it, but he had embraced Allen and expressed his happiness that Allen had found someone who loved him as much as he himself had; even if the form of the love was different, its depth was comparable.

Allen was pretty sure this was entirely a construct of his own mind, but it was comforting. He'd not dreamed of Mana in so long. Even after all these years, he still missed his father acutely. It had felt so good to talk to him again, even if it wasn't really Mana but a memory of him.

As Allen opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of a nun peeling his bandages off. Startled, he jerked sideways.

"Oh, you're awake, Mr. Walker? Hold still, it's time to change the bandages."

"W-who are you?"

"I'm Sister Mary Juliet. I'm the head of the hospital ward of this convent."

"Convent?"

"Allen?" Lenalee came over. "How are you feeling?"

"F-fine, but... we're in a convent?" This was news to Allen; he'd aimed the Ark at another hideout on the outskirts of Turino.

"Yes. We're in a convent in Turino. Bookman scouted this place out for us; this convent has been loyal to the Order for decades, and they agreed to take us in. Our other hideout was booby-trapped by the Earl when we got there."

"Oh."

The nun tugged on a bandage a few centimeters above his right hip.

"Yow-ouch!" Allen yelped. "What the..."

"Sorry, Mr. Walker, but this has to come off. Your wounds were dirty and infected." She tugged again. Allen groaned and bit down on his lip. "There. Wow, that looks remarkable!"

Allen had tears in his eyes from the acute pain, and dashed them quickly. "What looks remarkable?"

"This wound is almost completely closed. Considering how badly it gaped, this is outstanding. I've never seen a wound heal so fast, and so completely. You'll likely only have a minor scar from this. So this is the power of God's Crystal?"

"Well, yes, but Allen is a special person too," Lenalee said with a giggle. "He is loved by his Innocence."

"Lenalee, how's Lavi?"

"Still unconscious. He's spiking a fever right now, I hear. Probably a delayed result of the burns he sustained. But he's being cared for by Catherine; she's very good. Her Innocence aside, she's a skilled nurse. We're taking good care of him, Allen, don't worry." She perched herself on a stool and waited silently as Sister Mary Juliet methodically stripped the bandages from Allen's side and applied fresh ones. Once the nun had completed her task and exited the room, Lenalee turned to Allen. "Can you explain to me how on earth you got that wound? That was horrible. Catherine said you were on the very brink of dying."

"I'm not sure of the details -- you'd have to ask Lavi for those, you know how he is with details -- but... ugh, where do I start?" He brought a hand to his forehead. "My head feels so funny."

"Well, you're still not fully recovered from the blood-loss. Miranda donated a lot of blood for transfusions for you, since we don't know your blood-type -- it's not in the records. My brother looked. -- and Brother donated a lot of plasma for you. You were in really bad shape. We still don't know how you managed to survive."

Allen massaged his shoulder wearily. "I don't remember a lot about the fight. I do remember that when Lavi and I were moving through the Ark, the Earl broke through with his ark, so I disconnected the Ark from the hideout. Lavi and I exited through the nearest door, and started running east. The Earl sent his army of Akuma after us. I think we ran for a couple of days, trying to outrun the Akuma. I have no idea exactly where between Nice and Turino we exited the Ark, so we just kept running for Turino. But somewhere along the line, we got surrounded and ambushed. Because it was just the two of us, I was concerned about Lavi getting hit by their beams; they seemed to be targeting him. So I was trying to protect him while he launched volleys at them. But several of them got in at me all at once and... I'm not sure all of a sudden. They all hit me at the same moment with something. But I don't remember what. I remember the pain, but that's about all. "

Lenalee pursed her lips in contemplation. "Lavi's been unconscious this whole time, so we haven't had a way of knowing what happened. It's been a couple of days since you two got here."

"I don't remember much after that, except that Lavi kept panicking and begging me not to die. I thought at the time that he was being ridiculous. I honestly didn't think I was in that bad of shape. I've felt the hand of death on me before; this wasn't the same."

He glanced at the curtain. "I want to see him, with my own eyes. To make sure he's okay."

"Not right now, you won't," Catherine's voice wafted over from behind the curtain. "You're still too injured to move." She appeared almost out of nowhere with her Innocence bottle in one hand and a vial of some foul-looking medicine in the other. "Your wounds may be almost closed, but you still have some internal damage."

Allen withered at the sight of that medicine. "Um..."

Catherine glanced at Lenalee, who giggled and grabbed Allen's arms. "I've got him held down, Catherine. Go ahead."

"This is a soporific," Catherine said as she adroitly forced Allen's mouth open and poured the evil-smelling, foul-tasting concoction down his throat. "It's to help you sleep. It's potent, so it should start working right away." She then uncorked her Innocence bottle, which glimmered with activation, and poured some of the water into Allen's mouth. This time the water tasted sweet, and Allen realized just how thirsty he really was. At his silent entreaty, she poured the rest of the small bottle of Innocence-rich water into his mouth.

"Now just rest, Allen," the nurse said gently, with a smile. "You're on the road to full recovery, but you've still got a long way to go yet."

His tongue felt thick and fuzzy now; that medicine had been really rank! But he wasn't sleepy yet. He also didn't feel like talking anymore. After a prolonged silence, Lenalee started to tell him about their location, expressing how much she liked Turino. She also gave him a detailed update on the condition of Arystar Krory, another parasitic Exorcist who was out of commission because of injury. Krory's recovery was slow but steady.

Allen felt his muscles relax as the medicine started to slowly take effect. He listened as long as he could to Lenalee as she talked on about their picturesque surroundings, and how beautiful the architecture of the convent was. But eventually, he couldn't pay attention any longer and surrendered to Somnus.

* * *

He felt like his old self when he woke up again. He was also ravenously hungry. His side didn't hurt anymore, his old energy was back, and his head felt clear. He sat up, swung his legs around to get out of the bed, and started to remove the IVs when he felt an icy glare on him. Looking up, he saw Kanda Yuu leaning against the window, glaring at him.

"Who told you that you could just get up, beansprout?"

"It's Allen," he said peevishly, even though he knew that Kanda only did it to annoy him. "And I'm fine now. I'm sure I'm fine."

"Oh, so you're a medical expert now?" The Japanese swordsman curled his lip in a sneer. "Tch. Honestly, I don't know which of you is worse."

"Why are you here, Kanda?"

"Orders from the Supervisor. Several Level Threes have been in the vicinity, and they seem to be targeting this hospital wing. Marie's out on a patrol with General Tiedoll. While we're on alert, I'm under orders to remain here to make sure nothing happens to you three weaklings."

Three?

Allen looked over. The bed next to him was occupied, though its occupant was clearly restless and wasn't hooked up to IV. Krory looked annoyed to be cooped up.

"I hope you're not talking about me, Kanda," Catherine's voice drifted out as she rolled the curtain back. "After all, who took care of your injuries when Lao Jimin about shredded you?"

"That wasn't my fault!"

"Allen, how are you feeling?" Catherine turned her attention to Allen, completely disregarding Kanda. (The look of pure outrage on Kanda's face was worth all the taunts Allen was sure to endure for a while because of his injury.)

"I feel great, but I'm starving! Can I take these things out?" He pointed to the IVs. "They're starting to itch."

"Absolutely not. You nearly bled to death about four days ago, Allen. You're not going to take the blood and plasma IVs off until I say you're ready to. But if you feel well enough to do so, it'll do you good to get up and move around, stretch your muscles. That's why these stands have wheels on them, after all." She shook the little IV stand in example.

Allen knew exactly what his first order of business would be once on his feet. The problem, he quickly found, was that his legs didn't want to hold him upright much. A strong hand gripped him under his arm and gave him support.

"Krory...?"

"I am fine for walking around, but not yet recovered enough to fight yet, so they coop me up. The least I can do is help someone. Let me be your strength this time, Allen."

"Thanks, Krory. I need to see Lavi."

"Not surprising." The tall baron paced himself alongside Allen's shaky steps. He steered the two of them, with the IV stand rolling along behind them. Allen was determined to see for himself that Lavi was going to be okay. Catherine wheeled a little stool over and positioned it next to Lavi's bed; then, she and Kanda moved across to the other end of the room, to give them some level of privacy.

Allen found he wasn't nearly so fully healed as he'd thought -- just that short walk from his bed to Lavi's had exhausted him. He gratefully took a seat on the stool and leaned against the steel bars at the head of the hospital bed.

Lavi was stripped to the waist, and had bandages here and there, with burn-soothing oils spread all over. The burns appeared to be healing quite nicely, though Allen was alarmed by the extensive amount of old scarring the redhead had on his torso. There were a number of old wounds there, many of them probably inflicted by swords or knives. What kind of life did the bookmen lead?

His chest rose and fell regularly with his breathing. He was hooked up to a pair of IVs, and a respirator. His complexion was pale, but not alarmingly so. His right eye -- which was normally covered with his eye patch anyway -- was bandaged; the eye patch was laying discarded on a table next to the bed.

Allen picked up Lavi's nearer hand, relieved to find it warm, not cool and clammy. "Thank god you're okay, Lavi." He brought a hand up and rested it against Lavi's cheek.

"...len...?"

Allen blinked.

"A...llen?" Lavi's lips moved slightly. "Allen? Is that really you?"

"Lavi?" Allen leaned closer, and saw that Lavi's eye was slightly cracked open. "You're awake?" That got the attention of everyone in the room -- Catherine and Kanda were both there in a flash. Catherine looked concerned, but Kanda looked like he was fixing to let Lavi have it verbally.

"Allen? Are you okay?" Lavi's voice was almost inaudible, and scratchy with disuse.

"I'm fine, Lavi. Why are you worrying about me?"

"Stupid... you were the one who was dying... I'm glad you're okay, Allen... I sure do feel like shit, though."

"You should, dumbass," Kanda said acerbically. "You fucking screwed up. What the hell were you thinking, taking on a Noah in your condition? Which of us has experience fighting Noah anyway? Jackass. I ought to cut you up for being such an idiot and leaving me to Klaud's crazy monkey!"

Lavi made a sound like a weak chuckle. "Yuu, I had no idea you cared about me so much."

"Don't flatter yourself, dumbass. And stop calling me that, dammit!"

Overcome by emotion, and really not giving a damn about who saw, Allen leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Lavi's lips. "I'm sorry for worrying you, Lavi. I love you, and I'm relieved that you're okay. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"... love you too... Allen..." Lavi was fading out of consciousness, though this time it seemed that it was sleep that was claiming him, not oblivion.

Allen kissed his forehead and laboriously stood up; Krory silently gave him some support, helping him to hobble back to his hospital bed. He sank gratefully onto the mattress and leaned back into his pillow. "Catherine, when can I eat something?"

"You're on an IV-drip, Allen," she said with a grin as she planted her hands on her hips. "You're not going to starve to death. Until I'm convinced all your systems are back to normal, we're not going to try introducing foreign substances."

Allen made a face at her, and she glared at him.

"I'm older than I look, I'll remind you, and I've been doing this sort of thing since I was your age. You may be the superior Exorcist, but I know my way around a hospital room. My affianced has a poor constitution and has been in and out of the hospital for the past several years. I know what I'm doing, and I say that you're not ready for solid foods. Besides, you're drinking from my Aqua Vitae, that's more than enough for you for now with the IV-drips."

She tucked Allen into the hospital bed with a maternal air. "Now you just rest. I'm going to go get some more medicines for the idiot over there."

As she bustled out of the room, leaving the four male Exorcists there alone, Kanda made a face. "Beansprout, you are disgusting. That was the single most revoltingly sugary thing I've ever seen. Made me want to vomit."

Krory smirked. "Well, love can be like that, Kanda. It can make things beautiful, and it can make things ugly."

"Tch," the swordsman turned his head sharply away. "Now who's the depressing one?"

Allen debated whether to ask Krory if he was aware of the feelings of Miranda Lotto, another of their friends, who had developed rather acute romantic feelings for the Romanian. Krory settled himself on his hospital bed and closed his eyes, dozing off. Allen decided to leave the matter alone. He really wasn't comfortable butting into someone else's romantic scenarios anyway.

With one last glance over at Lavi, a few beds away, he settled down into his mattress and drifted off.

* * *

It was at least a week before Allen and Lavi were released from the hospital ward. Bookman reminded them to be absolutely discreet, since they were in a convent, so Lavi took it upon himself to badger the living daylights out of Allen, as an excuse to remain in close contact. Because this was a convent, where the nuns' rooms were all individual, and no one shared living quarters, there was no way to justify them having a room together, so they had to steal moments of mild intimacy on the sly.

At the very beginning, Allen found the noogies and constant pestering to be quite annoying, until he figured out why Lavi was doing it. Then they became endearing. Gradually, however, he started to get annoyed again.

About three days after they were discharged from the hospital ward and returned to semi-active duty, Komui called an emergency meeting.

"We're being surrounded," he said bluntly. "The only way I can figure for us to get out of here and spare this convent from being completely leveled is to use the Ark -- which I hate to do, because it's clearly vulnerable -- and made a run for Asian Headquarters. The Branch Head, Bak, assures me that the Asian Branch's defenses have been extensively fortified since the last time they were breeched. General Cross Marian assures me that the Earl's current Ark is faulty and will not be able to pinpoint the coordinates that the previous Ark used. As long as Allen keeps his Ark anchored in those coordinates and then releases all other points so the Earl can't break through onto that Ark, the Asian Branch should be completely impenetrable."

There were soft murmurs around the room. Komui held up a hand for silence. "To make sure that everything is working properly, and to make the transition as quick as possible, I'm dispatching Allen and General Cross to anchor the Ark in the same coordinates that it used before, and then to anchor the coordinates for this convent in the nearest door, so that we can transition quickly. And Lavi," he looked pointedly at the redhead, "no arguments. You're staying here. Until the transition itself, the only two people I want near the Ark are Allen, who can control it, and General Cross, who knows it intrinsically."

Lavi scowled, but held his silence. Allen nudged his side with his elbow, and gave him an encouraging smile. "I'll be fine, Lavi. I despise being in Master's presence, but if anyone knows the Ark better than me, it's definitely him, and if anyone can prevent the Earl from breaking through, it's him."

"Yeah, I know," Lavi grumbled. "I don't have to like it, do I? I got myself royally fucked up trying to protect you, you know."

"Watch your language, Lavi," Bookman said mildly. "We're on holy ground."

"Allen, can you anchor the Ark right here?" Komui gestured to an arch that led into a small chapel. "The sooner we get this done, the less damage there will be to the convent."

"I think so," Allen said as he poked at Timcanpy, who was gnawing gently on his earlobe. The golem complied by hopping off his shoulder and fluttering out in front of him, then rotating in air and projecting a strange-looking seal. Allen proceeded to hum and then softly he murmured some words as he paced back and forth in front of the arch. General Cross, who had been sitting with his feet kicked up onto the table, pushed off and stood up, flicking his cigarette away. One of Komui's subordinates discreetly crushed the cigarette out and then picked up its remains and discarded them.

"Komui," Lavi said sharply. "Everyone in this room can be trusted, right?"

"They wouldn't be here if I didn't trust them." The Supervisor raised an eyebrow at the redhead. Lavi stood up and moved over to stand a few meters away from where Allen paced. General Cross smirked in amusement at him as he leaned indolently against the frame of the arch itself. The airspace within the arch began to shimmer and become opaque.

"There," Allen said. "It's not anchored -- I have to get to the piano room to do that -- but it'll hold for now." He cast a distasteful look over his shoulder at Cross. "I guess we should go now, Master."

"I guess so, Stupid Apprentice." The general plucked Timcanpy out of the air and disappeared into the Ark. Allen grumbled and prepared to follow.

Lavi advanced then, grabbing Allen by the wrist. Komui uttered a startled "Lavi!" in anticipation of the redhead deliberately disobeying orders, but Lavi had something else in mind. He pulled Allen close, wrapped his arms around him, and crushed his mouth with a smothering kiss.

"If you don't come back unharmed, Allen, I'm going to kick your ass until you're black-and-blue everywhere, one giant ugly bruise. And even then I won't forgive you!" He growled savagely, though tears glimmered in his eye. He lowered his voice. "I didn't go through hell and back with my Innocence just to have you get taken away from me "

"Don't worry, Lavi. Master Cross would never let anything happen to the operator of the Ark." There was a trace of bitterness in Allen's voice, but it was a bitterness directed solely at Cross Marian, a man who didn't value human life so much as he valued a person he could use as a pawn.

Allen disengaged himself from Lavi and stepped through the portal into the Ark. Komui immediately dialed up the Asian Branch on the network and proceeded to arrange with the Branch Head the emergency transition of their entire group.

"That," Klaud Nine said severely, "explains a lot, Bookman Junior. Now I see why you were so desperate to obliterate yourself."

"Heh!" General Winters Socalo thumped the table. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, Klaud, just 'cuz you weren't clever enough to figure it out yourself."

"You didn't know about it either," Froi Tiedoll retorted to his colleague. Socalo just laughed.

"True, but the difference is that I don't care. It don't make no nevermind to me who's fucking who, just so long as everyone does their jobs. Let it slide, Cloud."

Lavi stood rigidly by the arch, waiting silently and ignoring the Generals. He was determined to keep his vigil until Allen was safely out of that godforsaken inter-dimensional thing. While he watched the portal, he felt a gentle hand take his; he looked over to see Lenalee clasping his hand.

"This is Allen, Lavi. He's strong. He survived that horrible injury, after all. And the Ark responds to him. He'll be all right. Just have faith in him."

"I know. I'm trying. It's hard."

"I know it is." She rested a hand comfortingly on his shoulder. Then she lowered her voice so that only he heard her. "Tell me just one thing: are you two happy together?" When he looked at her askance, she elaborated. "The most important thing for me is that my friends are happy. My friends are my world, you remember? As long as you and Allen are happy together, then that's all that matters."

Lavi was so moved at her magnanimity that he was at a temporary loss for words. Finally, he squeezed her hand and said the only words that he could form. "Thank you, Lenalee."

"Are you going to answer my question?"

"What? Oh." He shook himself out of his stupor. "Yes, I know I am, and I'm pretty certain he is too. He says he is."

"Then I'm happy for you both."

"All right everyone," Komui announced. "The Ark has anchored; it's time to move out of here. General Cross will direct you once you go through this arch. The exit isn't far from where you'll come out anyway. The quicker we do this, the less likely we'll have an interruption."

Lavi found himself shuffled into a double-file line; Lenalee held onto his arm and dragged him through into the Ark. They followed the line of people streaming through the ship toward a doorway that Cross stood beside, motioning people through. Then, barely ten meters from the portal from Turino, they exited the Ark, ending up on an elevated landing within a large, ornate cavern.

A short blond man in a uniform not too dissimilar from Komui's was directing the foot-traffic. Lavi grimaced as he looked around. He'd been in Asian HQ once before, long before becoming an Exorcist, and had hated it. But this place was where Allen had revived his Innocence and had evolved Crown Clown, and he had friends here. Plus, it was considered to be the most impregnable of the Black Order's branches. It was safe, secure, and bad memories aside it was the best place for the Black Order to hole up until they could return to the main headquarters.

Samo Han Wong greeted Lenalee with a polite bow. "It's been a little while, Mistress Lenalee. I almost didn't recognize you. And you must be Lavi." He turned to Lavi and offered him a bow as well. Lavi, not versed in these cultural things, just nodded in acceptance and looked toward the portal, waiting anxiously for the two people most important to him -- Allen and Bookman -- to come through.

After an agonizingly long time, Bookman appeared. The three generals (not including Cross) were the last to come through before the portal seemed to fade. Lavi's heart skipped a beat. Not again!

Then the portal flared open again and Allen stepped through, with Timcanpy riding in his hair as usual. "Okay, Komui, the other portal is disengaged. Master opted to stay behind in Turino, to protect the convent and to distract the Earl for a while. You really want me to leave this thing anchored here like this? I think I can scrambled the coordinates and disconnect it."

"Leave it anchored for now, Allen."

"I really hate that thing, I'll have you know. It gives me the creeps, being in that piano room," the white-haired young Exorcist said with a gusty sigh as he descended the stairs to the floor. Lavi clamped down hard on the urge to sweep Allen up in his arms and cover him with relieved kisses. There were too many people here -- that was too reckless.

"I'm sorry, Allen. I know it bothers you to use the Ark. But it was the safest way to transport everyone such a long distance." Komui shrugged apologetically. "I don't think you'll need to use it again for a while."

"Well, well, if it isn't my old rival," the short blond man said arrogantly, though without any real rancor, to Komui. "Running like a fugitive, so I hear." He grinned and extended his hand to Komui. "Honestly, Komui, you're incorrigible."

"Well, it's not my fault the Earl managed to invade the main headquarters." Komui accepted the handshake. "I'm sorry for imposing on your hospitality, but it was either here or the Vatican, and I didn't think it'd be wise to put this many Exorcists right in the Pope's lap."

"Ah, well, we've go the space. And it's a pleasure to have Allen Walker back. I know a few of my scientists who will be thrilled to have him back for a while. Not to mention a certain cantankerous pain-in-the-ass guardian."

"I _heard_ that, Stupid Bak!" The disembodied voice retorted. "Keep the racket down, will you guys? I'm trying to sleep here!"

Lavi hooked his arm around Allen's neck in a companionable gesture, giving him an impromptu noogie, though in the midst of it, he leaned in and murmured fiercely "I want you alone later. Dammit, you had me worried sick!"

"Give me a couple hours and I'm all yours," Allen said in return. His tone of voice was casual enough, but the glint in his eyes said he was feeling anything but. That was fine with Lavi; he could use a little outlet for his pent-up feelings and energy.

Komui and the Asian Branch Head, Bak Chan, moved off to discuss the particulars of the Order's stay here.

"You know something?" Catherine said as she paused beside Allen and Lavi. "That emblem there? That reminds me of my family's crest. And I was just thinking about the motto on it. It kind of fits us Exorcists. _Je vis en espoir_."

Allen rubbed his forehead wearily. He still wasn't fully recovered from the ordeal a week and a half to two weeks ago. "I'm no good at French, Catherine."

"It means, 'I live in hope.' Which is kind of what Exorcists do, isn't it? Live in eternal hope of freeing the world from the Earl's grip?"

"Bah," Lavi grumbled, just as Allen's stomach made its present mostly-empty state known. "Philosophy on an empty stomach. I'm going to puke rainbows in a minute!"

"But we do live in hope, Lavi," Allen said with a laugh. "Isn't that why we do the things we do for the people we love most?"

"Ehn, I suppose you're right. However, I stand by my statement: Philosophy on an empty stomach gives me the dry heaves. I'm a historian, not a philosopher, I'll remind you. Anyway. Where's the cafeteria? You stayed here long enough, you must know your way there with your eyes closed."

Allen chuckled as he gestured. "It's this way."

_Lavi, you brighten my life._ He thought as they walked. _I'm glad to have you as mine. Please don't ever change. Catherine's right, we Exorcists do "live in hope." For myself, I live in hope that you'll always be the brightest star in the nighttime sky to me. I don't know when I fell in love with you, but I love you more dearly than you can ever know._

**Author's Note:**

> A note about blood donation and transfusion:  
> Allen's blood-type has not been revealed by Hoshino-sensei, to my knowledge, at the time of this story's composition. Most everyone else's has. Miranda's blood type is O, which is considered to be the "universal donor" (actually, O-negative is the universal donor, but O-positive is used frequently too) for blood. That's why I chose to use her, in lieu of knowing Allen's blood-type. Plasma is the reverse -- AB plasma is the universal donor -- so therefore I used Komui, since he seemed to be the most likely to be willing to donate. (Source: Wikipedia on "blood types")


End file.
